Parent training requires that both the parent and the non-birthparent deal with their grief and loss of their child’s mental health conditions. The child’s special needs bring extensive stress to their family situation, as it creates a loss for the parents. They have hopes and dreams for their child, in terms of school, relationships, marriage, and happiness. But when a child grows and has emotional difficulties, the parents can be devastated by the child’s lack of “normalcy”. Virginia LaFond, in her book, Grieving Mental Illness, discusses how unacknowledged grief can be emotionally exhausting for the parents if not addressed.
But for the non-birthparent who has a child, loss also exists as well. For the adoptive or foster parent who takes in a child because of their infertility, loss occurs. They have to go through the stages of grief and loss as it equates to a loss of the ability to have their own child. In addition, the child they adopt or foster may not live up to their expectations due to the child’s mental health needs. This can lead to extensive stress.
And for the grandparent who is the caregiver, the role of being a “parent” again brings with it mixed feelings. The grandparent thought they were going into their “golden years” and have freedom from work or raising a family. But due to the parent’s absence, due to drug use, incarceration, or other reason, the grandparent must step into their role. More than 13 million children are living in homes with their grandparents, who have some role in their upbringing. The more involved the grandparent may be, anger, frustration, and deference may be felt because their role in life changes. This is their example of grief and loss.
In parent training, the non-birthparent must first deal with their own grief and loss before they can concentrate on their child. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross discussed the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). These all apply to the loss of the parenting experience as they want it to be. Most parents are in denial of these feelings and don’t want to admit it. “My child is fine, there’s nothing with her.” “Why should I feel any loss, I’m happy to have a child.” But inside, parents feel guilt and shame over wanting something different than their child and not accepting the child with mental health conditions. Through confronting the grief and loss they experience, whether they agree or not, the concept percolates for a while until it hits them. Then they move through the grieving process.
As with any grieving process, it is not a linear one. But in parent training, helping the parent achieve well-being comes before parenting skills.
Dan Thorne, the President of Praxes, developed the Intensive Parent Model training program. It has been used throughout the country by hundreds of professionals. It is available online or contact us to learn about a training program for your agency.
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PRAXES is a nationwide behavioral health software, consulting, and training company. No one in the behavioral health industry has a better reputation, and if you give us the chance, we’ll show you why! At PRAXES, our services improve the efficiency and structure of behavioral health agencies serving children and families nationwide. PRAXES brings over 45 years of administrative and clinical expertise. With more than 100 client companies nationwide, we offer the expertise to advance the quality of behavioral health services. We accomplish these goals through our new clinical decision software, our training of best practices, and helping companies meet regulatory standards. At PRAXES, we believe in being creative and fostering new ways to serve children and their families. Our vision is to empower the families our agencies serve with skills that not only improve their functioning, but help them to thrive in their everyday lives. When you give us the chance, you’ll be connected directly to our friendly staff, so you can expect immediate attention to your inquiry. So, don’t wait, call now!
Dan Thorne has unique perspectives on the field of mental health. As a clinician, he has had over 40 years of experience working with clients in the Southern California area. After obtaining his Bachelor’s degree from the University of California at Irvine, he worked with children in the Orange County Juvenile Hall. Here he honed his earliest techniques on at-risk children. After that, he obtained his Master’s degree in Counseling from California State University, Fullerton.
In the 1990’s, Dan turned his attention to the clinical and administrative side of behavioral health organizations. For three years, he was the Assistant Administrator of Starting Point, a chemical dependency facility in Costa Mesa, CA. In 2001, he took an opportunity to be the Director of Harbor View Community Services Center in Long Beach. When he arrived, the Center had only 80 clients and 13 staff. When he left, there were over 400 clients and 75 staff. Dan created several programs through their contract with the Los Angeles County Departments of Mental Health and Child and Family Services. Under his guidance, Harbor View became one of the leading providers of children’s services in Los Angeles County.
While improving the results of the client’s parents at the Center, Dan reflected on his experiences as a parent. His children themselves had special needs such as mental and intellectual challenges, and Dan knew the toll it takes on the parent. In order to help the child, the parent has to be healthy. From this concept, he created his parenting program. After years of refining it, teaching it to his staff at the Center, and then taking the results and comments from these efforts, he became the developer of the current PRAXES program. It is a culmination of Dan’s personal trials and tribulations as a parent along with empirical results and research of over 40 parenting programs.
Our vision at PRAXES is to advance the strength of parents and caregivers of children with special needs (mental health, intellectual, or physical) through education, support, and empowerment. Thus, they can live healthy and functional lives while caring for the child.
Apogee is a clinical decision software designed to help behavioral health practitioners with their treatment and patient engagement. It provides evidence-based and research-based components. Not only do they consist of elements from such practices as Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Seeking Safety, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Motivational Interviewing, Functional Behavior Analysis, but also the Intensive Models for Parents, Youth, and Children.
PRAXES has over 30 years of accreditation experience. We know what it takes to get your organization accredited. Whether it’s Joint Commission, CARF, or COA, our team can provide an evaluation of your current status and review the standards which need improvements. We will assist you with the policies, documentation, and training required to be accredited.
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