As difficult as having holiday stress yourself, it tends to be worse for foster youths. Helping them navigate the holidays brings skills that they can use throughout the year.
This time of year brings stress to most of the population. Buying toys, whether it’s for Christmas or Hanukah. Preparing for parties or meals. Squeezing extra tasks into your already busy schedule.
But what about foster youth; how do they handle the holidays?
A foster youth, whether they live with a resource family or in a residential facility, are not with their biological family. Their contact with their family could range from consistent to sporadic to non-existent. Although families of foster youth lost their child due to abuse, neglect, or violence, they are still the youth’s family. Family holiday traditions, even if sparse, still are strong memories for the youth. When youths grow up, they associate love and holidays with their family. Even though they received abusive and traumatic experiences.
Foster youths tend to feel empty when the holidays come. They miss their family connections. And although foster family agencies have celebrations and spend countless hours rounding up toys, it’s still not the same.
Yet the holidays can be big teaching moments for youths if clinicians and support staff plan for it.
Foster youths tend to experience loss in general. Because they are away from families, unsure if or when they return, they have to address this loss. And nowhere does it show up more than in the holidays. Even if they get passes or visits, they still end up back in their placement.
This is why the holidays can tend to be a busy time for problems. Running away. Drug use. Aggressive behavior. Self-injurious behavior.
Rather than a practitioner putting on a happy face and ignoring the youth’s feelings, it is precisely their feelings that need to find expression. Allowing foster youth to feel the sadness, depression, anger at this time gets them to express their inner turmoil.
Options for the feeling of emotions depend upon the youth’s preferences. Sports enthusiasts need physical exertion through athletic activities and exercise. Artists use their painting, craft making, drawing, music, or rap poetry. A group process is a great place for youths to share and hear others in a similar place and also experiencing loss.
Even sitting with youth who’s visibly upset and letting them vent. Being there with them. Listening and not trying to tell them to stop. These skills the youth learns to teach themselves healthy means to express feelings.
The next time you see a youth storm out of a room at the holidays, they’re most likely expressing feeling something due to their holidays' losses. And being there to listen improves their skills in coping with trauma, grief and loss, and stress. Skills they will need throughout their life.
Foster Adopt offers five tips to help foster youth get through the holidays.
Praxes offer training courses for foster family agencies and residential facilities. For more information, please contact us.
Got questions? We've got answers.
PRAXES is a nationwide behavioral health software, consulting, and training company. No one in the behavioral health industry has a better reputation, and if you give us the chance, we’ll show you why! At PRAXES, our services improve the efficiency and structure of behavioral health agencies serving children and families nationwide. PRAXES brings over 45 years of administrative and clinical expertise. With more than 100 client companies nationwide, we offer the expertise to advance the quality of behavioral health services. We accomplish these goals through our new clinical decision software, our training of best practices, and helping companies meet regulatory standards. At PRAXES, we believe in being creative and fostering new ways to serve children and their families. Our vision is to empower the families our agencies serve with skills that not only improve their functioning, but help them to thrive in their everyday lives. When you give us the chance, you’ll be connected directly to our friendly staff, so you can expect immediate attention to your inquiry. So, don’t wait, call now!
Dan Thorne has unique perspectives on the field of mental health. As a clinician, he has had over 40 years of experience working with clients in the Southern California area. After obtaining his Bachelor’s degree from the University of California at Irvine, he worked with children in the Orange County Juvenile Hall. Here he honed his earliest techniques on at-risk children. After that, he obtained his Master’s degree in Counseling from California State University, Fullerton.
In the 1990’s, Dan turned his attention to the clinical and administrative side of behavioral health organizations. For three years, he was the Assistant Administrator of Starting Point, a chemical dependency facility in Costa Mesa, CA. In 2001, he took an opportunity to be the Director of Harbor View Community Services Center in Long Beach. When he arrived, the Center had only 80 clients and 13 staff. When he left, there were over 400 clients and 75 staff. Dan created several programs through their contract with the Los Angeles County Departments of Mental Health and Child and Family Services. Under his guidance, Harbor View became one of the leading providers of children’s services in Los Angeles County.
While improving the results of the client’s parents at the Center, Dan reflected on his experiences as a parent. His children themselves had special needs such as mental and intellectual challenges, and Dan knew the toll it takes on the parent. In order to help the child, the parent has to be healthy. From this concept, he created his parenting program. After years of refining it, teaching it to his staff at the Center, and then taking the results and comments from these efforts, he became the developer of the current PRAXES program. It is a culmination of Dan’s personal trials and tribulations as a parent along with empirical results and research of over 40 parenting programs.
Our vision at PRAXES is to advance the strength of parents and caregivers of children with special needs (mental health, intellectual, or physical) through education, support, and empowerment. Thus, they can live healthy and functional lives while caring for the child.
Apogee is a clinical decision software designed to help behavioral health practitioners with their treatment and patient engagement. It provides evidence-based and research-based components. Not only do they consist of elements from such practices as Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Seeking Safety, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Motivational Interviewing, Functional Behavior Analysis, but also the Intensive Models for Parents, Youth, and Children.
PRAXES has over 30 years of accreditation experience. We know what it takes to get your organization accredited. Whether it’s Joint Commission, CARF, or COA, our team can provide an evaluation of your current status and review the standards which need improvements. We will assist you with the policies, documentation, and training required to be accredited.
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