Every person has a sexual orientation, gender identity, and expression, or SOGIE. And many of us affirm our gender identity as our assigned sex. That is, we were born a man, and we feel that way when we dress, act, and live in the world. But for youths who have different SOGIE, such as lesbian, transgender, or bisexual, live in a parallel world. If they cannot express themselves in their family or their surroundings, they always feel tense.
“Coming out” for youth to their family about their SOGIE should be a warm and caring experience. Yet, for many youths, this is the opposite. Many families reject the youth who says they are gay or lesbian or identify themselves as neither male nor female but agender. These rejections lead to family conflict or kicking the youth out of the home. One study indicated that, while LGBTQ+ youths comprise 7% of the total youth population, they make up 40% of all runaway youths.
What causes families to reject their LGBTQ+ youths?
For some families, it is their cultural or religious beliefs. The rationale that is different and not like others is a sin, a transgression.
But other factors affect families. First, for the LGBTQ+ youth, a stigma exists similar to having a mental illness. It makes them feel different or less than others as perceived through the public’s eyes. This stigma, as with a mental illness, also affects the parents. The mothers and fathers of LGBTQ+ youths face the same discrimination and rejection from the community (e.g., “what’s wrong you with that your child is that way?”).
The other stressor for families is to deal with loss. As parents of children with mental illness grieve because their child is “different,” the same occurs with parents of LGBTQ+ youths. They go through the same stages.
Denial- “You’re not gay; it’s just a phase.”
Anger- “Why can’t you be like your brother and like girls?”
Bargaining-“Maybe if we take you to our pastor, he can help you not feel gay anymore.”
Depression-“I’m so ashamed of the job I did as a parent.”
Acceptance-“I’m not happy about how things turned out, but I can still love my son for himself.”
When working with youths, practitioners first need to understand the challenges families face when their children “come out.” This work takes time but builds family reconciliation.
The National SOGIE Center from the University of Maryland can offer resources to your agency.
Praxes has training courses in behavioral health topics such as SOGIE, and a recorded course as well.
For more information about our training courses, please contact us.
Got questions? We've got answers.
PRAXES is a nationwide behavioral health software, consulting, and training company. No one in the behavioral health industry has a better reputation, and if you give us the chance, we’ll show you why! At PRAXES, our services improve the efficiency and structure of behavioral health agencies serving children and families nationwide. PRAXES brings over 45 years of administrative and clinical expertise. With more than 100 client companies nationwide, we offer the expertise to advance the quality of behavioral health services. We accomplish these goals through our new clinical decision software, our training of best practices, and helping companies meet regulatory standards. At PRAXES, we believe in being creative and fostering new ways to serve children and their families. Our vision is to empower the families our agencies serve with skills that not only improve their functioning, but help them to thrive in their everyday lives. When you give us the chance, you’ll be connected directly to our friendly staff, so you can expect immediate attention to your inquiry. So, don’t wait, call now!
Dan Thorne has unique perspectives on the field of mental health. As a clinician, he has had over 40 years of experience working with clients in the Southern California area. After obtaining his Bachelor’s degree from the University of California at Irvine, he worked with children in the Orange County Juvenile Hall. Here he honed his earliest techniques on at-risk children. After that, he obtained his Master’s degree in Counseling from California State University, Fullerton.
In the 1990’s, Dan turned his attention to the clinical and administrative side of behavioral health organizations. For three years, he was the Assistant Administrator of Starting Point, a chemical dependency facility in Costa Mesa, CA. In 2001, he took an opportunity to be the Director of Harbor View Community Services Center in Long Beach. When he arrived, the Center had only 80 clients and 13 staff. When he left, there were over 400 clients and 75 staff. Dan created several programs through their contract with the Los Angeles County Departments of Mental Health and Child and Family Services. Under his guidance, Harbor View became one of the leading providers of children’s services in Los Angeles County.
While improving the results of the client’s parents at the Center, Dan reflected on his experiences as a parent. His children themselves had special needs such as mental and intellectual challenges, and Dan knew the toll it takes on the parent. In order to help the child, the parent has to be healthy. From this concept, he created his parenting program. After years of refining it, teaching it to his staff at the Center, and then taking the results and comments from these efforts, he became the developer of the current PRAXES program. It is a culmination of Dan’s personal trials and tribulations as a parent along with empirical results and research of over 40 parenting programs.
Our vision at PRAXES is to advance the strength of parents and caregivers of children with special needs (mental health, intellectual, or physical) through education, support, and empowerment. Thus, they can live healthy and functional lives while caring for the child.
Apogee is a clinical decision software designed to help behavioral health practitioners with their treatment and patient engagement. It provides evidence-based and research-based components. Not only do they consist of elements from such practices as Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Seeking Safety, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Motivational Interviewing, Functional Behavior Analysis, but also the Intensive Models for Parents, Youth, and Children.
PRAXES has over 30 years of accreditation experience. We know what it takes to get your organization accredited. Whether it’s Joint Commission, CARF, or COA, our team can provide an evaluation of your current status and review the standards which need improvements. We will assist you with the policies, documentation, and training required to be accredited.
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